Throughout my lifetime, I have had to figure out love, as we all seem to…… I was raised in a two-parent household. Even though our family dynamic could sometimes be dysfunctional or toxic,
I noticed a difference in behavior styles between my counterparts that did not grow up in two parent households. This is not the case for everyone, but majority of the people I met who did not grow up in a two-parent household had more issues loving healthily. Though, I have met some who did grow up in two-parent households with the same issues.
Anyhow, for a while I said I never wanted to have children or get married just because I saw how toxic most relationships seem to be. Now, I am sure on marriage, not the surest on children. I was disappointed so many times in my life, to the point where I just started to isolate myself because I felt like no one really loved me as much as I loved them. I just had a hard time relating to the motivations of other people even though I can understand them. I still feel like this. Then I came to this point where I thought maybe I just give up on people too easily. I thought that unconditionally loving someone meant to remain in their life, take all the hurt/pain, and basically allow “any kind” of treatment. To be honest, yes, I can see the embodiment of love in that way and it is beautiful in a sense. That is apart of forgiveness, closest to God’s love. However, now I’m learning how toxic that can be for spiritual growth and development. Not just for the person you love, but for yourself.Currently, I’m learning the art of loving myself and the importance of doing so.
Another thing that I feel as though gets in the way of love is socialization. It starts how we are socialized to love and treat our sexualities. As I am getting older, I am realizing more and more the sacredness of sex and how powerful sexual energy is. Men are socialized from a very young age to be more explorative sexually, and to take more risks. In which, can affect them physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Men run and protect the habitat, so if you have more men open and not aware of spiritual defense, then the whole habitat becomes toxic. This is a big underlying issue! Not having spiritual defense is like bringing no weapons to a gunfight or like walking into a trap because how can you fight something you are not aware of.
I am learning that conflict is necessary for relationship growth. I am learning that life is not always about doing what makes you feel good all the time. I am learning how important it is to work on physical health and how that can be important for spiritual & emotional health as well. I was wondering why I keep going through certain things and attracting certain things and it is because I’m not totally right with myself. Until, I learn to discipline myself, and get mind, body, & soul together I will continue to be susceptible to certain negative spirits. I just want to emphasize how important it is to get all aspects together because any lack makes slippage susceptible. Whether that’s selfishness, disloyalty, laziness, jealousy, amongst many other things. These types of things eat at the soul. It is better said than done. It is hard to break habit. It is hard to break from this deep sleep we are lulled in since children.
I really want to encourage young people to wait on sex as long as you possibly can, and to not get trapped by porn….. My sex life got healthier after I stopped looking at porn. I think the addiction to porn is very problematic and very detaching. Sex is like a can of worms, that you cannot just close back. Sex is so simplified and showed in a very detached since, so many people are unaware of the transference of sexual energy and the affect it can have. In similar fashion, many people are unaware of how powerful sex energy can be. I am not judging anyone for sexual happenings?, anyhow the importance of the spirituality of sex should be noted and taken seriously. Again, how would you fight against something you are unaware of? The answer to that is, being unaware of these things and not taking any type of action leads to you being consumed not just physically, mentally, and emotionally, but most importantly spiritually.
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