February 22, 2023 Celibacy, Discussion, & Bible Study

Jeremiah 31:3

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

2 Corinthians 5:7

(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)

Psalm 56:3-4

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Matthew 6:20

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

Isaiah 26:3

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

What God has for me, is for me. No need to fear. I trust that all the things that I am looking for in my life will be granted anyhow. My inheritance is God. So, while I do want the finer things in life, to travel, and live a peaceful life; I know that my treasures are in heaven.

Lately, I have been doing much better mentally in the way that my mind is not always racing and I no longer have this bad feeling constantly. I would call the feeling intuition about bad things around me and to come. There's a fine line between mental illness and actual senses. When you feel like something is not right about a situation, trust that immediately and do not wait.

On the other hand, I've been celibate since December and I have my thoughts to break my vow. I get lonely, but I know as a woman I should not seek men and let my husband seek me. I get self conscious about not being a perfect christian (who is?). The sexual objectification of women especially black women is a deep seated issue within the community. Black women are usually taken less seriously, disrespected, demonized, and have a deep history of violence, objectification, exploitation, and over-sexualization ingrained by slavery. In which, has lasting effects on communication, politics, culture, and society. I know that promotion of any sexual behavior will damage my reputation professionally unlike male counterparts.

Celibacy is freeing for me in a lot of ways. Lust overshadows love a lot of times. Sex should not be the glue of a relationship. That is superficial. Celibacy also allows me to explore deeper into the bond because without sex a lot of people would not consider me. On the other hand, I no longer want to be a slave to sin. I do not want anything controlling me, not even my desires. Being a slave to sin really leads to bad outcomes spiritually.